


everyone's a critic

by WelcomeToTheBadlands (orphan_account)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is a Mess, Crack Treated Seriously, Dark Crystal is like a less bad The Rise of Skywalker, Director Ben Solo, Eventual Smut, F/M, Film Critic Rey, Filming, Minor Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Miscommunication, Rey Needs A Hug, Snoke Being a Dick, Soft Ben Solo, YouTube
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 15:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22398028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/WelcomeToTheBadlands
Summary: Rey is a film critic and a Youtuber, and her review of Ben Solo's newest film goes viral, because she, as well as a lot of other women, really don't like it.Ben Solo is a director who has no control over his own movies. He's depressed and lost his joy of making movies.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 11
Kudos: 34





	1. the review

It started with too much to drink. It was a rule of Ben’s that he did not watch Youtuber’s reviews of his movies, and he really didn’t watch them when he was drunk either. But one too many whiskey sours could do a lot to your frame of mind and logic.

He had gone down his recommendeds watching random shit and zoning out for what felt like hours. Then he saw it. If he had been sober, he wouldn’t have clicked on it. It was titled, ‘Dark Crystal—A Disappointing Nightmare’. The thumbnail had a picture of some girl who was admittedly _really really pretty_ and the movie poster spliced together. _He really shouldn’t._

He did, though. Because of course he does. It opens up with the stereotypical Youtuber intro. The girl’s name is Rey, he knows that. She tells some joke that he can’t really remember and talks about subscriptions, and then she gets into the review. When she gets into the review, she really gets into the review.

_Like, really gets into it._

“I just want to start this off by telling you guys that if you liked this movie, that’s perfectly fine. I respect your opinion. I think the general public will like this film, and if you do go and see it once and turn off all of your brain cells then I think that it’s entertaining.” It shouldn’t sting, but again, he’s drunk and it really, really does. “But, I am really not a fan of this movie. In fact, during my second and third watching, I went to one of those theatres where you can get alcohol and shit and—hold on let me get my receipt. I took a picture of it.” She pulled off my phone. “It took me three margaritas and a pina colada to get through this movie. The first two margaritas for the first time I saw it, the third margarita and the pina colada for the third time. So, yeah. There’s a lot to say about this movie.”

He skipped forward ahead a little, because he could already feel himself getting mad. He knew that if he was sober, he would have stopped at the very beginning of this review. If he was sober, he wouldn’t have cared really what this one girl had to say about his movie. Right?

“So, I want to say that all the actors were—fine.” Rey rolled her eyes. “Domnhall Gleeson and Kelly Marie Tran were great as Lily and Hill, they had great chemistry. It was really great. So were most of the supporting actors, with what they had to work with. So, I guess I will say that’s what I liked about the movie, because everything else uh—well. I didn’t like.” Her sardonic tone and British accent were either really hot or really infuriating and Ben couldn’t tell which. She sounded tired, looked tired even.

But most Youtubers were tired with the constant threat of demonetization looming over their shoulders. _I hope she gets demonetized,_ his drunk brain supplied, rather unhelpfully. “Oh, also before we get into this review I just wanted to say that the alternate title for this video was, ‘ _Oh no. Dark Crystal was really bad.’_ But I thought if I wanted to get clicks I should be really melodramatic about it so I hope this works. Anyway, into section one.”

He knew what it was going to be before the word ‘ _Editing’_ flashes across the screen in big letters, and then the first section begins. “You know how when you’re chopping vegetables, and they’re all unorganized, messily cut pieces because you aren’t a professional chef and you don’t know how to make your stuff look symmetrical? Well, that’s basically what the editing was on this movie. Like, there’s this one scene where Hill is putting together this mask he broke in the last movie, for _some weird fuckin’ reason_ and it cuts while he’s grabbing it to put it back on.”

Yeah.

That wasn’t his fault.

“It’s like they had half of this film unedited for like, half a year and then they realized only a month before the movie was supposed to be released that they actually had to finish it and they rushed it.”

Ben skipped forward some more.

“So, Lily and Hill end up together. Great. Amazing. Iconic. You know me, I’m a basic bitch who loves my enemies to lovers romances. But—but. He immediately dies after him and Lily kiss. I would be okay with this if it made sense, but it really didn’t. And she wasn’t given time to grieve, and that was what was most disappointing to me. Especially if you’ve seen my reviews of this directors other movies—”

Skip forward.

“—I guess what I’m trying to say is that it is now the end of 2019, and we’re about to go into 2020, and we should not be focusing on the male characters in a female centric story. That’s like that shitty new Nancy Drew comic book that’s coming out where she’s dead and the Hardy Boys are the main focus. So dumb, so dumb. Anyways, I’m getting sidetracked. We need more female directors in Hollywood—” He could agree with that much, even if everything that she did say in this video was extremely insulting “—and men shouldn’t be allowed to touch my favorite characters anymore, because it’s pretty clear that they lose the ability to be able to tell a good story with the amount of money that lines their pockets after they listen to a ton of screaming dudebros—“ Okay then.

That was all he could listen to of the video.

After that, he couldn’t remember much else, other than the fact that he scrolled down Twitter and then passed out.

__

**Ben**

**_ @iambensolo _ **

_Tired of YouTube personalities thinking they’re film critics._

_ Reply to @iambensolo _

**Aaron Carter’s Tiddies**

**_ @lesbianslilly _ **

_drop the @ king_

**Jared Jameson**

**_@ jjadams_ **

_I feel you. People can’t just watch movies to enjoy them anymore._

**Little Starfighter**

_**@reyoflight** _

_I'm going to be totally conceited and say that you're vaguing me, but whatever, thanks for boosting the engagement to my video. :)_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter is basically cut into two parts. This part and the better part which is chapter 3.

As soon as Ben woke up, he was reminded about the reason why he shouldn’t drink. Ever. He was also reminded about the reason why he didn’t watch videos about himself. Ever. Now Twitter was blowing up and it was all his fault.

**Ben, private**

**@tireddirector**

**Regretting my life choices rn**

**Reply to @tireddirector**

**Jannah**

**@janghost**

**Noah fence, but when are you not??**

**Bazine Netal**

**@bazinesbitch**

**Hmm, wonder why?**

For a second, Ben considered apologizing. Just for a second, though. Because if he was being honest—he wasn’t good at apologizing and if he tried, it would probably just make it worse. So he didn’t.

*****

**“** Remind me to never drink again,” Ben groaned as Poe put down one of his ‘hangover shakes’ in front of him. He knew he was to blame for the pounding in his head though. For all of it.

“Are you sure? Because it’s always fucking hilarious when you do.” So Poe already saw what he tweeted by now, that was fucking great.

“I just hope that no one makes a big deal about it,”

“Oh, but they most definitely did.” Poe told him. “Thanks for introducing me to that girl’s channel, by the way. She’s pretty funny,”

“I hate you,”

“Love you too, buddy.” Poe started getting ready to head out, for what reason, Ben didn’t know. Or care. “Listen, if you’re really concerned about it, just apologize and say you didn’t mean it.”

“No,”

“Why not?”

“I’m not apologizing,”

“Why? You know that you were in the wrong. It would make your life so much easier if you just—you’re actually butthurt that she criticized you.”

“Some of the stuff she said was pretty awful,” He said.

“So? Most people loved the movie, so what’s the point?” Ben knew that Poe was right, but he still didn’t want to apologize.

“It’s just the principle of the thing.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Poe rolled his eyes, “I’m headed out.”

__

If Rey was being honest, Ben Solo was one of the directors that she had admired the most. She could have gone on for a long time about how she had gone to see his first film at Sundance, and she had practically fallen in love with his style of directing. She had seen a lot of potential in him and seen that he had actually enjoyed what he was doing, instead of making a cash grab like so many people did when they made films nowadays. She saw him making movies that were respectful of multiple audiences with a diverse cast, and none of the characters were caricatures or had harmful stereotypes in them.

So, maybe she held him up to a higher standard than other directors.

When she saw his newest film, there were mistakes that he didn’t make in his earlier things. It seemed rushed and the marketing for the film did not portray what actually happened in the film either, and she really didn’t like that. She did not like how he did a total one eighty and started placating to the dudebros that were mad about the diverse casts that he usually had, and worst of all, she saw glaringly obvious editing mistakes in the movie.

That was why she made her video. She didn’t think that it would get that many views, especially since she already saw reviews of Dark Crystal, and they were all overwhelmingly positive. But—as soon as the video came out, a lot of female critics and women in the fandom, started circulating it.

That didn’t slow down when the director himself subtweeted her.

Rey wasn’t sure what to think when she saw Ben Solo’s latest tweet, but something told her that it was about her video. It didn’t take long for her to find out that it was, in fact, about her video. He directly @’d her in the replies. Rey couldn’t believe what she was reading. She took a screenshot before he deleted it too.

**Ben**

**@iambensolo**

I said what I said.

In response to Ben saying that he didn’t think YouTube personalities were film critics, she posted a picture of her press passes to Sundance and Toronto film festivals. The ones that only critics were allowed to get. She considered making a wordy response, talking about all the reasons he was wrong and why he was acting completely ridiculous about his shitty movie, but she decided that she wasn’t going to dignify this with a response.

Instead, she went about her day and put her phone down, now caring to see anything else about Ben Solo or his stupid movie. Of course, her roommate Rose had something to say as soon as Rey emerged from her room, “Oh my god, what the fuck happened on Twitter?”

“Found out one of my favorite directors was an asshole, what else is new?” Rey said.

“God,” Rose rolled her eyes, “you’d think that actual directors have better things to do with their time than try and defend their shitty movie by sending their fans to hate on critics.”

“It doesn’t really matter,” Rey said. She walked over to the pantry and pulled out the box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch that had been pushed all the way to the back, pouring it in a bowl but not pouring any milk into it. “I just want to go back to bed,”

“You and me both,” Rose said. “Hopefully this’ll all blow over,”

“Hopefully, Twitter’s blowing up my phone right now.”

“Delete the app then,”

“Might have to,”

“You going to make another video about it?”

“Fuck no,” Rey rolled her eyes. “I really don’t think that it needs to be addressed any further,”

“Did he lose his status as your favorite director?”

“Unfortunately, yes.” She sighed. “Have to find a new hot director to stan,”

“Good luck with that, considering most of them are crusty old white men.” Suddenly, Rey was dreading having to go through all her old tweets and delete the thirst tweets about him that she had made. Whatever. He was dead to her.

“Ugh, fuck 2020. Honestly.” Rose patted her on the back.

“Sorry, girl.” She said. “You should’ve known that men can never take criticism.”

"Yeah, I know. Right." 


End file.
